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Catherine A. wrote: |
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Dear Mike —
I just moved from New York City where there are still some good parishes and where most people
are quiet and devout. e.g. rare late comers, talkers, etc.
There have been times in suburbia when I have tried, in a very nice, Christian way, to
correct someone who was using a cell phone in church, walking out after Holy Communion,
etc. Each time I said something, I think in a gentle way, I got the reaction of, "Who
are you to tell me what's right?"
Once at an Easter Vigil, a 30-ish year old woman wanted to
belt me, because I said she was not hearing the entire Mass and committing a (venial) sin.
There are a lot of instances I see in
suburbia where priests never:
- tell the parishioners
to try harder to come on time for Mass
- tell the parishioners not to talk
in church
- encourage parishioners to conduct themselves more respectfully
in church
(e.g. modesty in dress, etc.)
Priests seem not to
want to rock the boat per se. I remember (it seems
centuries ago) when priests told parishioners what
was right and what wasn't.
- How come they seem
to be gutless now?
A few lay people try to inform
fellow Catholics of what they are doing wrong,
but no one wants to listen.
- Has there been a
directive from above to just be silent?
This bothers me tremendously. Most priests never
mention:
- the Blessed Mother
- angels, or
- a lack of
respect for the Blessed Sacrament
in their sermons.
- Am I the only one that feels this way?
- A lack of
devotion
- a lack of respect for God and the Blessed Sacrament,
and
- a lack of respect for one's neighbor in church
seem to be the
order of the day.
Thanks for your time and comments.
Catherine A.
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| { Is there a reason why priests in suburbia don't encourage parishioners to behave better in church? } |
Mike replied:
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Hi, Catherine —
Let me throw in my two cents and I'll let my colleagues pitch in if they want.
I believe we are living in a time where great things are happening — great
things that the secular local news media will not tell us. Key among these is the
number of converts coming into the Church, and the number of reverts returning to the practice of
their Faith. A second one is the cautious improvement of the seminary environment
in the Boston area.
Nevertheless, despite the good that is happening in our Church, we still have our fair share of
big problems. The two most important ones are:
- The poor shape of many Catholic seminaries in the United States (the main
one)
resulting in . . .
- Poorly catechized Catholics who probably just went through a processed CCD, where nothing intellectually stuck.
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- What should be our response?
- To the first problem.
To fix the first problem, we have to pray not only for priests, but for
many American Catholic bishops who were probably poorly trained in seminaries,
and haven't made personal time for a prayer life. I believe if they had
a daily prayer life, they wouldn't be as gutless. The same holds true for
our priests.
More importantly, though, as lay Catholics, we have to insist to our bishops
that seminary teachers and vocational directors, who are employed in our
local diocesan seminaries, but who dissent from the Magisterium, be:
- Removed from the seminary, and
- Not allowed back in any other seminary in the Church (worldwide, yes, worldwide!)
This has to apply to religious sisters that teach New Age in our seminaries
as well.
Michael Rose wrote a book on this issue, called, "Good-Bye Good Men". I
call these dissenting "catholics", al Qaeda Catholics. They have hijacked
the name "Catholic" and claim to be Catholic, but act and teach
contrary to the Church's Teachings. Their actions, along with the silence
of many bishops, end up being scandals to the world of our
Faith.
It all goes back to the seminary.
When I listen to a so-called "c"atholic, like
Ted Kennedy, I only partially blame him. Why?
- Where did he get his religious instruction from?
<His parents.>
- Where did they get their religious instruction from?
<The priests/pastors.>
- Where did they get their religious instruction from?
<The seminary!>
- Who allowed dissenting teachers and vocational directors into the seminary?
<The
(bishop|rector).>
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- To the second problem.
My solution first:
PPK = Prayer; Pick and choose
your fights; Kill 'em with Kindness.
We are all uncatechized to a certain extent. The only people that aren't
are Our Lord, Our Lady and the other saints in Heaven. We should always be doing whatever we can to learn our Divine Faith better.
Parishioners in my parish and your parish are on various faith journeys,
based on an array of backgrounds and educational issues.
Discerning when saying or doing something will be fruitful
in a given situation.
In order to discern correctly, one has to have some type of daily prayer
life, e.g., five decades of the Rosary (how to, history) a day is fine!
If one is active in the Church, you don't want to come across as always
complaining (and/or) bothering parishioners and priests. This is where you
have to:
- discern
- choose your fights, and
- carry them out in kindness.
If I were to come across that lady in her 30's who wanted to belt you,
I'd remember a saying my non-practicing Catholic mother told me:
Michael, kill 'em with kindness.
Her point: If we are kind to those that want to belt us, that will leave them puzzled. If we do kind things to people who have never liked us, it will drive them crazy. They are use to acting with revenge where the Christian Catholic prays
for his enemy. :)
Despite the things I have said, we must remember that this Church, unlike
Protestant denominations, is the only Church Jesus founded on St. Peter.
Our Blessed Lord promised that, on issues of faith and morals, the gates
of Hell would not prevail against it.
- Will we have our share of Judas' behavior?
<Sure we will.>
- Will we have our share of scandalous priests?
<Sure we will.>
- Will we have our share of parishioners behaving badly?
<Sure we will.>
We are a Church of sinners, and at the same time, we are saints striving to make
this temporary home a holier place to live. Guided, molded and encouraged by our local priests, our mission is to proclaim
the Gospel and invite all to join:
- the fullness of the Faith
- the fullness of Jesus
and His One Church, the Roman Catholic Church.
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Hope this helps,
Mike
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Mary Ann replied:
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Dear Catherine -
Mike's answer was beautiful and I agree with it completely. I would only
add this:
I believe the problems in our Church are due first of all to
sin, and only secondarily to faulty catechesis. Our moral state can blind
us to truth, which is why humility and obedience to God's law (and the
teachings of the Church) are so important.
What you are seeing in people is pride.
"I can do what I want, and
nobody has the right to tell me otherwise."
This is the atmosphere
in our culture now, and this is the spirit behind dissent and all manner of things. We, who are fortunate enough to have good catechesis, must be
humble and loving.
Part of that is patiently bearing the wrongs that others do,
and not being quick to judge their subjective attitude. As Mike said, they
often don't know any better, and their leaders do not enlighten them.
When you are at Mass, try to identify with Jesus, who patiently bears all
this bad liturgy and bad behavior, just as He bore the shouts and spit
of some of His own people. We can do this in the same spirit He did
it, as an act of reparation and salvation for those very sinners, and for
our own sins and the removal of splinters from our own eyes.
As for action, I think the best thing is positive encouragement. If you feel you must say something after
Mass, to the person who comes late or talks on the cell phone, tell him
or her, "how good it is to see them
at Mass", and how lucky we are to have the Mass and to have a priest in our
parish or maybe just compliment the person in some way. Leave to the priest
the discipline. It is his job, and he has the grace for it. If he doesn't
do it, the ignorant are not held accountable for their faults. If we do
it, we risk tipping people, who may be holding on to the Faith by a thread,
over into real bitterness and hate.
I usually try to imagine what it must be like to "attend" a Mass
in a prison or concentration camp, a secret Mass within a small circle
which is surrounded by others who don't know or care what's going on, and
who continue loud, obnoxious or bawdy behavior in our presence. We have
to be a presence to the world, and the world is certainly in the Church!
I am sure your good example is the loudest sermon people can receive,
as long as it is carried out like the Publican (Lord have mercy on me,
for I am a sinner.), and not like the Pharisee (Who are these other jerks
here? Thank God I am not like them!).
God must love you, because He has called you from a sweet and comfortable
place to one that is more trying to your soul.
Mary Ann
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Catherine replied:
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Dear Mike and Mary Ann,
Thank you both for responding so quickly to my question on why the clergy doesn't
correct parishioners.
Please do not think I am on "patrol" all the time, looking for errors to correct people.
It's only rarely do I say something to someone about an error. After reading Mary
Ann's answer, I too, had the feeling that I am put in my present parish to do some
Eucharistic reparation. Even though I'm not thrilled to be here, His Will be done.
The thoughts Mary Ann gave were excellent for meditation on this.
Mike, your detailed answer was great — I pray for priests and our Church daily, but
perhaps
I reflect too much on the pre-Vatican II days with rose-colored glasses (I still
miss them though.) You are correct: we are all on different spiritual levels per
se, and I will try more PPK! :o)
I just remember somewhere I read a Protestant
said if he truly believed in the Real Presence,
he'd be on his knees in church every
day . . . and then I see a lot of our people talking loudly, and laughing, and imagine a
non-Catholic walking into Church and seeing this. I guess this requires some Eucharistic
reparation.
Again, thank you again for all of your time in trying to help in my question.
You all are in my daily prayers.
Catherine A.
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