Kathy,

Millions of other Catholics, need to check out the 2005 Synod on divorce, remarriage and the Eucharist. The continued changing of rules by the Church indicates that these man-made rules can be changed again by understanding what Divine Mercy is all about.

Being married 45 years to a Catholic convert, raising 8 children and now married to a divorced Presbyterian, my compassion goes out to the millions out there like myself.

Not only can I not receive the Eucharist (four out of five priests tell me to continue to receive) but my pastor will not allow me to be on the Church board or involved in any other ministries I have previously been involved with.

I am now 76-years-old and an active Catholic who happened to fall in love after my first wife's death from pancreatic cancer in 2001. I would like to hear from others in my situation before millions more drop out of the Church finding themselves welcomed into other denominations.

Sincerely,

Art Bilder

Wow . . . .

Hmmm . . . . I hope you are never in the position to tell your spouse, I can no longer make love to you., when that is what human beings were created for, even in their senior years. No one can say another person can't make love to another person until, for some reason, it's just impossible for them.

I spent several years after my wife's death trying to find some nice, single or widowed Catholic lady to marry and be my lover. Well, that never happened. The (SWD) Single, Widowed, or Divorced Catholics I knew wanted nothing to do with men, marriage, or sex . . . something more Protestant women had no problems with. Whether their marriage was good or bad, the Protestant women did not let it affect their desire for male companionship. The Catholic women, from the area churches, that I knew since 1967, were single and now enjoying their celibate lives. They were lucky to find one or two men in the SWD groups because all the women wanted is for some guy to fix their plumbing, mow their grass, repair their houses, etc. If they took care of an ailing husband before he died, they wanted nothing to do with that again.

I watched my beloved wife waste away with pancreatic cancer, sometimes sleeping on the floor next to her bed, praying daily with her that she be healed, Rosary in-hand together, up until her very last breath. I watched her eight children grieve for her as she suffered and yet I would do it all over again because of the blessings. After her death, her intercession was there for all who prayed to her. She appeared to several parishioners, friends, and family at times just to tell them how happy she was and how wonderful Heaven is.

We saw miracles like the ones that are required for any Saint to be canonized but our dioceses priest said the cult for her intercession was not big enough. My next step before I die will be to write a book about her life, sickness, death, and our experiences after her death. After nine years people still see her as a Saint. Sometimes a day won't go by when I run into someone who will remember her. Her presence was felt even in England by a lady who had just found out she had breast cancer which my wife also had in 1976. She was Jewish. My wife was a convert from the Baptist Church. Our pastor asked that the song Gentle Woman about Mary be sung at the funeral. A fountain is dedicated to her by a Marian Shrine at our Church. I have to admit that my unforgivable sin was falling in love with a 64 year old Presbyterian lady who is the happiest she has ever been after being married to two men who cheated on her, gambled away their money, etc. She had seven children while they did their thing. Now my Church, not hers, tells her she is committing adultery and needs a annulment from my Church so I can receive the Eucharist.

Until the Catholic Church becomes more compassionate and merciful as many priests have told me, it will never be able to evangelize her nor the millions of other Protestant and Catholic spouses in our situation. Church rules continue to change and the rules on annulments need to change as well, as priests will tell you. I am sure a count of priests and some Bishops would shock our beloved Pope.

Even these men, who never knew the joys and sorrows of married life except for what they hear by the millions in Confession, know something has to change. Some priests give me a blessing when I go to Confession. Only one has refused me absolution or a blessing. This priest was probably 80 years old now and could have been tormented regarding sexual things all his life. Nevertheless, it should have made him even more compassionate and understanding.

Thanks for your reply and your prayers.

Art Bilder

Yes Mike,

I have studied Church doctrines all my life but I have also met the loving Jesus and know that he is my personal Savior. My mistake is forgivable like murder or any other hideous crime yet for my present wife to be blamed and hurt is not the kind of Church she is interested in. Perhaps you may want to read:

[Book name blocked out.]
by [Name hidden] ministries.

In this booklet, I am seeing what a number of Catholic priests believe regarding our Catholic Church rules and doctrines on the subject.

Thanks for passing my e-mail on to the rest of your team. I will forward all your replies to Kathy.

Sincerely,

Art Bilder

Thanks again Mike, but I was told the annulment process did not come until around the 14th or 15th century.

I would never change the Scriptures any more than I would change the Ten Commandments.
If I recall some recent writings by Sr. Faustina, she claims Jesus told her, there is the list of 20 reasons Catholics can go to Hell, then there is the part of the message that says His Divine Mercy is for everyone. We know He died for everyone and Divine Mercy came to him as he suffered through all our sins in the garden. He wants the Church to understand that as well.

In 1976, I was blessed to be taken bodily to Calvary and was able to see that Divine Mercy in my Savior's Eyes. I was about 43 at the time. This was just one of many such experiences that I had which included the Blessed Mother. I will never understand why I was picked. Even my five or six year old son was visited by Jesus in our back yard. He recollects this visit in detail even now at age 34. When my deceased wife appeared to me, several people I shared this with could not understand why they were not fortunate enough to have a similar experience. They at least wanted their deceased spouses to appear to them or at least to get some kind of message from the Lord. I had no explanation except to tell them that maybe they just never sinned enough to see God's Mercy and Love.

One of the times, my wife's presence was made known to one of my children was when my daughter asked God to give her some sign regarding her mother. Five minutes later her five year old son came into the house with a bouquet of flowers that showed up on a bush that had never been there before at the front door patio. They were flowers that my daughter use to pick for her mother when she was in her elder years. That type of flower was everywhere in Florida but had disappeared for many years. Now they are no longer wild and cost a pretty penny to buy.

Sincerely,

Art Bilder

Hi, Mike —

I guess you are missing the point or I am not coming across to you.

My wife has never considered becoming a Catholic although her youngest boy attended Catholic school in Indiana and even considered becoming a priest but was still Presbyterian when they moved to Florida. Four years later he drowned in the Indian River at age 19. Susan does have Catholic relatives. I am not sure what kind of an example they were but they also lived in another state.

Protestants are our separated brethren and not our enemies according to our Popes. I married my first wife, a Southern Baptist, and we agreed to not do anything that would be negative toward either ones faith. Three years later, after regularly explaining to her the Faith, she became a Catholic and is definitely a Saint, worthy to be prayed to according to the pastor we had . . . when she died. There have been too many miracles to list right now. Her appearances were enough to canonize her!! This is the life I had with her and I was not worthy of it!!

I do understand Dr H. [the Protestant minister] lacks the appropriate authority but most of what he writes in this book is in agreement of the Catholic Church which was why I wanted you to possibly read it for yourself. The men and women who have brought the most into the Catholic Church are those converts that we weekly hear on The Journey Home program of which I recently attended the conference in Columbia, Ohio. Dr H. is not suggesting that he has any authority and quotes the same thoughts of the Catholic Church in a positive way including on issues dealing with divorce and remarriage, etc.

Thanks again for your reply.

Art Bilder