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Anna Anonymous wrote:

Hi, guys —

My son, was raised in the Catholic Church, and received all the sacraments, but is now going to join the Southern Baptist Church. He is 40 years of age and his wife is a Baptist.

Please tell me the Catholic teachings in regard to his decision.

I was taught: once a Catholic, always a Catholic. His action has taken a piece of my heart.

  • What is going to happen to his soul?

I have put him on the prayer list during my adoration time.

  • What else can I do?

Anna

  { What are the teachings of the Church when a family member leaves the Church for another faith? }

Mary Ann replied:

Dear Anna,

I have the exact same problem in my family. We never know all that might have hurt or influenced our children and their thinking.

  • Sometimes there are real questions of conscience.
  • Often they have received bad priestly advice and they don't know how to distinguish it.
  • Sometimes they have been injured by priests.
  • Often, it is not so much a decision, as a drift from something they don't even know about to something that has offered them some real Christian truth and fellowship — both things often lacking in the usual parish experience of a man your son's age.

In any case, Jesus says that He has sheep that are not of this fold and He will gather them.

  • Stay in touch
  • lovingly pray with confidence
  • don't worry, and
  • go ahead and ask your son:
    • What his thinking is?
    • What are his questions about the Faith?

As a mother, you want to know your son's mind and heart, not so much to change it, but to understand it. Then, if there are any misconceptions, you can help correct them:

  • with your own knowledge
  • with literature, or
  • by sending him e-mail links.

Also, you can fast. He may be fighting great spiritual battles we know nothing about and need help.

Mary Ann

Anna replied:

Mary Ann,

Thank-you so much for your input but I truly believe that, in my son's case, his wife just rules.

As I understand, there was a condition where she was going to move back where we live, as long as my son joins the Baptist church.

He's almost brainwashed and now feels the Catholic Church is all wrong. He even thinks he has to be baptized again, even though he was baptized and confirmed.

When they first got married, she told my son she would join the Catholic Church but after a marriage encounter weekend, she told my son she just couldn't. They got married in the Baptist church, against our pastor's advice.  We attended the wedding and at that time our son told us he would never join her church.

Sincerely,

Anna

Mike replied:

Hi, Anna —

This situation is unjust but requires prayer on you and your family's part.

No one, including any one here at AskACatholic.com, has the right to coerce someone to join a church they don't believe in.

Your son's wife has made a life-time commitment with your son. This isn't a conditional commitment based on whether he becomes a Baptist or she becomes a Catholic.

It is sad that your son has entered into a non-sacramental marriage. A sacramental marriage is sooo important because:

  • the grace from a sacramental marriage
  • along with keeping to the teachings of the Church, and
  • making your Sunday obligation, in a state of grace,

is what keeps marriages together for life. The sacramental grace from a Catholic marriage is theKrazy Gluethat holds the marriage together.

Based on what your son has said, it appears he has a distorted, incorrect view of the Church.
Besides praying for your son, the only way this can be rectified is by studying and learning what the Church believes and being ready to answer any questions or misperceptions he has, but, at age 40, he has to discern what he believes and doesn't believe. You can't choose what he believes.

I know this hurts to hear, but free will is given to each individual to use or abuse.

Although I no longer have the financial operation to send him a free Catechism of the Catholic Church, if he is interested, he can get a very cheap one on Amazon. This will assist him in clearing up Catholic misperceptions he is probably getting from his wife from the Baptist church.

I will keep you, your son, and your family in my prayers . . .

and your family situation too Mary Ann!! : )

Mike

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